Monday, February 26, 2018


I was raised with the idea that if you are inclined to conceal something, it must be wrong. If you aren't doing anything wrong or hiding anything, why put up a fight? To deny something was "to protest too much" thereby giving reason to believe you are guilty.

I have slowly over many many years realized that all of this is pretty much worthless thinking. You can deny something and often feel a need to defend yourself because things matter to you and the correctness matters. It matters that you are heard... even though, so often those who "hear" us use those defenses against you and therefore you felt even less heard than if you had kept all your thoughts to yourself.

I find myself feeling weird when someone is behind me while I type anything. It's not that I'm writing anything wrong or weird or unreadable. It's mine is all. It's personal and "private." And not in a secretive way, it just is. This post will be published to the world, but I don't want someone glancing or reading over my shoulder. This is my thought space for now. When I hit "publish," THEN it can be read.

I don't let others touch my computer. I made an exception about a year ago. Friend just needed to check her email online. You want to know what she did? She rearranged the icons on my desktop. Nothing was specifically damaged, but that's MY desktop! She said the icons distracted her... if the internet browser is open, you can hardly see the icons. You can drag the browser larger to cover the entire screen and leave my stuff alone.

I have a bigger purpose in this post, but having written this much, I find it hard to write about the important issues at hand. Perhaps this post will be continued on another braver day.

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