Friday, February 09, 2018

What do I call you?

I was recently asked what Anne should be called in relation to myself.

Now, on the one hand, this is a thoughtful question. In today's world of partnerships and relationship and gender words that blur and confuse, people more and more have very strong opinions about what words they want others to use for them.

On the other hand, this question was posed around the idea that, "You know I accept who you are, but I don't know what to say when someone asks about you." Someone inquired after seeing our trailer (with our website on the side) in front of this relative's home. On this other hand, I have to say, when talking to someone else about us, call us what you want.... ya know why? Your answer reflects on you more than us. Our website is right there. We use the word "partner." Like, it's RIGHT THERE on our website. If you say "Abby's friend," it implies you don't accept and/or are in denial and/or you're old fashioned....  and ya know what? That's totally fine with me! I really don't mind. Honestly. As long as you choose something in kindness, I won't be offended by your choice.

In fact, I have to admit something. New words take time to become normal in your own mouth. Many women change their last names when marrying a man. The new last name does not flow instantly. It takes some practice. I practice the word "partner." It is new to me. We both agree that "wife" doesn't fit us, but it might be the perfect choice for other women couples.

We prefer and we use "partner." Thank you for asking. What you say in your own space and to your own friends is your own choice.

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